For any and all of those affected by the CoVid19 forced seclusion, it may be a long haul.  As someone who has difficulty with restrictions, I understand the aggravation of not being able to continue with "life as we have known it".  Yesterday was a difficult day for me as the realization set in that this was probably not just for two weeks. Perhaps you have had that experience or perhaps you will soon.  Here is the big question and ten possible ways to answer it.
What to do when there is nothing to do?
1.  Start a new (healthier) regime
If you have been wanting to tone up or slim down - now's the time! Because you have time.  It is a luxury most of us never have. You have time to do those walks (even if it is on the treadmill) or sit ups, yoga, etc.  Do it with your children.  It will build good habits for them.
2.  Take care of your heart and soul
This time is difficult for many and it is easy to feel down.  Be sure to take care of your emotional and spiritual needs.  There are on-line counselors to get in touch with if you need emotional support with feelings of fear, anxiety or depression seems to be setting in.
If you need that connection to a higher power be sure to do what you need to feel inner peace.  Meditation and prayer groups are forming on the internet and are on-going if your group can not meet.
If you have been wanting to explore a discipline that gives you peace and turns off your negative side - fear, worry, etc.  Now is the perfect time!  There are lots of online supports on Youtube or elsewhere.  Take the time to explore and develop your inner peace.  It will help you maintain balance in the face of this pandemic.
3.  Eat better!
Nevermind the toilet paper!  Of course you have to have it but you need to eat well.  Not only because you should but because it is essential to your health.  Read up and get informed!  Whether you use the Medical Medium or find out about blood types and eat for your type, get informed and make some changes.  It's a great way to be proactive and help safeguard your own and your family's health.
4.  Clean house!
Since you have to stay home - go through your closets, garage or wherever else you store things  If you haven't worn it in a year - get rid of it!  If you will never use it again - put it up on
social media and sell or give it away!  Re organize closets, cupboards and see how much better it feels!
5.  Get enough sleep! 
If you are still working be sure to get as much sleep as you can.  Sleep is important to a healthy immune system and we all need to stay healthy.  If you are home - take a nap when you need to.  Teach your children to sleep when they are tired not push themselves beyond it.  We do too much of that in this society.
6.  Stay in touch with friends and family.
Call, skype, zoom, facetime but stay in touch.  The forced seclusion is hard on extroverts so be sure to contact people when you need to.  Have a zoom coffee or meal with someone.  No, it's not the same but it is better than nothing.  And contact is important during social distancing as paradoxical as that seems
7.  Grow plants or animals
Nothing feels better than watching a seed start to grow!  There's something magical in seeing new life bursting forth through the soil.  Get a few seeds or if you can't then plant the bottom of your celery or a slice of tomato and watch it grow in a sunny spot.  It will brighten your day and maybe start you on the road to self-sufficiency.
If you have the room and can honestly help - foster an animal.  It is a commitment but many of the private animal rescues can use the help and you may end up with a life long companion if the foster works out really well.  But be honest with yourself about your willingness to carry it through.
8.  Learn something new.
You have time so learn something new.  Whether it is cooking a new dish, crafting or learning about a subject of interest, the internet can supply the how-to's.  If you want there are plenty of on-line courses, many of which are offering a discount to change your career or build yourself up.  Whatever your interest - the time is now!
9.  Reflect on your priorities and goals
In a time where most distractions are gone it is a good opportunity to look inward.  Make time each day to think through what is important and what you want to accomplish in life.  Not a bucket list even, since that is put on hold for now but real priorities.  Is your family or relationship your priority - take a good look and see if your actions show it.  If not, your goal is clear.  Do some soul searching during this enforced solitude.
10.  Have some fun and be creative!  Take time to laugh and have fun with your children or your partner.  Laughter strengthens the immune system, so laugh it up.  Play card games, board games and when you run out - make up your own!  Be creative - dance, sing, draw, paint, make things out of what is on hand.  Invite others to share in the process.  See what you can come up with!  It will not only pass the time - it may become an on-going tradition even when other things are available.
A Start
I hope that gives everyone a place to start.  Many of you will have already begun your journey.  And just think what tales we will all have to tell our grandchildren! 

My Father died last Sunday.

Sunday evenings, he always called me but not last Sunday. Now he will never call me again.

Change is hard for us human beings. We get into a habit and we stay there. It becomes comfortable for us. We do not easily shift from it, we enjoy the familiar and we resist change.

But death is not something we can resist. It is part of life, regardless of whether we want to acknowledge it or not. And it changes everything. My Father is survived by his brother, my Uncle, who was his youngest brother.  After that, I am the oldest in my Family.  Change is upon me.

No more Sunday phone calls from my Dad.

I did know that change was coming. My Dad was ill and had been ill for just under a year. He had been in and out of the hospital with pneumonia before Christmas and then over New Year's. But last Sunday he had seemed well, in good spirits and we had a better talk than we have had for a while. That was January 5th. I will never talk to him again, so I am happy we had a last conversation that was worthy of the relationship we had both worked to rebuild over the last 11 years.

My Father was one of those people who did not stop growing and learning. I once realized that my Father taught me three important lessons – lessons that changed my life.

My Father was young once and he was always a social person. When he was young that meant parties and often an overindulgence in alcohol. As a child, I grew to hate and fear parties and the drinking that went with them. The lesson I learned was about how one's foolishness impacts on others. It was a valuable lesson and I have never forgotten it. It kept me from straying too far from my path, when the temptation to do so grew great and it still guides me through difficult times, like the one I am in at the moment.

As my Father got a bit older, when I was about seven years old, he decided to take his Chartered Accountancy at night. My Father had graduated high school with his senior matriculation (grade 12), He had worked different jobs, sometimes two at a time but had been unable to get ahead. I watched with fascination as my Father worked steadily each night after working all day and in due time got a piece of paper that bettered our living situation in a very short time.

That lesson had an immediate impact on my life.  I had an abundance of energy as a child.  If we had had the term, it might have been labelled ADHD.  It was enormously difficult to sit and concentrate in school, even with the threat of corporal punishment. But after I saw how studying changed the family fortunes, I forced myself to sit and to learn.  I made myself pay attention and I learned how to get good grades.

It was the second lesson I learned from him, education is worth the time and can help you immensely. I worked my way through university and hold three degrees. I have success in my chosen career partially due to this lesson I learned from my Dad.

Once my Father had his C.A., he worked hard. Other men, with more education, were able to precede him and get promotions faster but my Dad kept working and he never gave up. He persisted and got to the position he wanted, advancing steadily over the years. I learned that hard work and persistence pay off. Sometimes it takes time for your employer to see your worth but giving up is not an option. I learned to follow my Father's example and have been rewarded with the position I have wanted.

Those three lessons would easily have been enough to assure my success but not my happiness. At one time those three lessons were all I had from my Father.

There had been a parting of the ways, at my insistence, while my son was young, due to the difficulties I experienced in my childhood. It had been a necessary part of my healing and for many years I was estranged from my family.  I needed the time and I do not regret taking it.

When I reached out to my Father, at first I did not get a response. I had sent him a Father's Day card many years before I moved west. The next year I sent another and so on for many years. When I moved out west, I sent a letter before I sent the card. That year my Father responded. It was a short response but a positive one and so began a written correspondence. After a few years of electronic and “snail” mail, I went on a trip back east. During that trip I visited my Father and his wife

The visit was only a day. It was a day that was a watershed. It marked a change in the relationship. After that day, my Father's last lesson or it could be called a gift began to occur. At first I barely perceived it. I told my Father about the book I was publishing and I sent him a copy. When I was younger there was never any support for my artistic endeavours, so I did not expect any now. I was wrong. My Father was encouraging and told me he had read the book and particularly enjoyed some of the stories. He shared my other book with his grandchildren.  He asked about me showing my art at the gallery or my adventures in sustainability.  He followed my career with interest and encouraged me with that also, especially through the disappointments of the last few years.
I found acceptance, which was far different from what I had experienced before the separation from my family. I felt approved of and loved. My Father never ended any conversation without being sure to say “I love you, you know.” And unlike the time before the visit, I knew he meant it and I felt loved and cared for in a way that healed my heart and freed my soul.

As I write this, I can only feel great admiration and love for my Father. He was a real person and like all of us, his inner pain drove him to make mistakes. He continued to learn and grow, he reflected on the past throughout his life and ended up being someone, who not only experienced the success and financial recompense of all his hard work during his career but also experienced a closeness with his family and friends because he knew how to give and receive love and kindness. Was he perfect?  Of course not.  He could be abrupt or not listen on occasion and he had always been stubborn.  But no successful person alive is not stubborn.

My Father grew to be a good man, someone worth knowing and someone whose love and life have shaped my own. My Father made a difference to me. I know that I am not the only one who can say that today.

Thank you, Dad! I love you, you know. And I will miss you.

I've been on a short vacation.  2 weeks.  Just long enough to be relaxed.  And that is good because the past few months have been very stressful.
I don't mind stress.  Or at least I didn't.  I have lived under duress or with stress most of my life.  Pretty much a type "A" personality and although I meditate and know how to de-stress at will, I don't always allow myself the time and space to do so.  I figured that was pretty much normal for the 21st century.
I don't think that anymore.  You see, over the last two weeks I chose to allow myself to relax, really relax, while I did a Candida cleanse I stopped using coffee as much and cut down on sugar and wheat.  I won't claim to have gotten rid of them. It was different.  And I realized I prefer life that way.
Tomorrow, I have to return to work.  I work in a high pressure industry and if I choose not to start my day with caffeine, I will not be able to manage my ADHD well enough to have the focus I need to do my job at my usual efficiency.  I resent the fact that in order to do my job, I need to be hopped up on caffeine.  Granted, we are not talking about an opiod or heroin, but it is a drug, I would rather not use anymore. 
What is wrong with our society?  Or rather, how did we get to a situation where I have this dilemma?
We are so alienated from nature and the natural way of doing things that we set times to get up, which do not coincide with daylight.  We have good evidence that this is not physically (or emotionally) good for us but we do it anyway.  We work in jobs, which do not really pay us properly for our time, or if they do, they do not give us the opportunity to marry self-care with the hours or break times for that job.  We have done, what I did, deluding ourselves to think that stress and whatever form of adaptation to it we have to make (caffeine as a case in point) is perfectly okay and sane.
It  is not. 
True, historically it used to be worse and I am grateful that we are not working in the coal mines of Britain back at the turn of the last century.  Our lot is a better one.  But it is not yet humaine.  There are now more opportunities than there used to be to avoid my dilemma.  But we need to work toward a less stressful work life. 
It's one of my new year's resolutions.
What are yours?

When I look back now at old photos of me in my twenties and early thirties, there was a cold look in my eyes. It is a look that developed in response to a view of life as difficult and onerous. My belief was that I was on my own and had to struggle and fight and strive just to keep my head above water.

And my reality mirrored that belief. Other than my relationship with my son, I took little joy in the experience of living. Of course I went out with friends and on vacation yet those were small punctuation marks in the burden that life was for me then. The bright spots were my relationship with my son and teaching.

Teaching has been my salvation.
When other children were playing doctor or policeman, I played teacher. Something in me always knew, I think, that teaching would be important.  It was not my first employment and it will not be my last yet it has in many ways hugely influenced who I have become.

I am a learner. I love to learn and am curious about everything. The challenge for me has been to harness my fleeting attention span and ever moving mind. Exercise and caffeine helped me in my twenties and thirties to focus on the task. My will has always been strong where learning is concerned and that helped too. But only meditation was able to still that negative mind voice, which for years plagued every endeavour. It was not an easy road to learn to meditate yet once learned, focus became simple.

I also had a temper. That was something I learned to manage and did therapy to deal with the anger from a difficult childhood. Now I know how to deal with anger in myself, thus I can help others with theirs That is very important when having to give a consequence to a student – never act out of anger.

Teaching was a creative endeavour for me.

Learning is about doing. In so many classrooms, tasks have little to do with the actual learning. Reading is different of course, and math, yet for history or science only doing, creates true understanding Theory can be given some due, some cursory explanation. Theory will never really explain a chemical reaction one has never seen nor help a student of this century enter into the mindset of a peasant during the French Revolution. These things are accomplished only through experiential learning. I created such experiences for my students – and they understood.

Teaching is about creating the future.

Your students are growing up.  Many teachers do not truly understand that those very little ones sitting in their class will one day be the ones helping them at the checkout, drive through or later at the hospital or elsewhere.  They are the building blocks of our future community and we need to be doing our best to create a better future.  We need to open up their imaginations, not shut them down.

Each student in your classroom is looking at you. They are learning you. Be a good model for your students. Be authentic. You will make mistakes. You will have trouble at some points – show them how these things are dealt with by an adult. If you make a mistake, apologize and do not make the same one again. If you have a weakness – own it. Mine is a difficulty with remembering names. I let them know that up front. I have a name disability, I say. I want to remember your name, so I will always do my best to do so But under times of stress, I get names mixed up. Then they know. If you are not feeling well and struggling – let them know. I say, my patience, which is normally t-h-i-s big is now this big. So they can be aware that if I am a bit touchy, there is a reason. I warn them.

I hold myself to a code – I do not yell (unless there is danger). I do not jump to conclusions. I seek to understand. I am kind. I am honest. I do not waste their time.  I do hold them responsible for their actions and for making amends.

I want them to ask questions. I want them to take the initiative. I want them to collaborate and come up with ideas. I want them to imagine things the way they should be. So, I build skills in them and I give them projects where these skills can be used. We need future citizens who are responsible, independent and interdependent, ask questions, take initiative and imagine a better way, don't we? Where are they going to come from if they are not taught?

What teaching should be about – ideally?

Teaching should be about helping people learn to think – creatively, critically, constructively, and to use their imaginations and to trust their instincts. It should be about helping them develop skill in researching and learning about their interests and about establishing a minimum communal knowledge base. It should also be about helping them to know the one person they can make changes to – themselves. It is also about how to get along with and understand others and fostering interdependence – communication, self-regulation, collaboration. It can also be about physical fitness and skills with games.

At present education is sometimes about, some of the above.

Teachers make a difference.

That should read, great teachers make a difference. Great teachers know who they are and like their students. They are keen on helping them learn. They take risks. They take feedback They are willing to be wrong and then to make it right. They persevere at getting things across to all students and reward progress. They deal with misbehaviour effectively. They build relationships with each student and give them feedback so they know what to improve. They inspire their students. Learning can be individual – online would be fine really. Teachers though, make a difference. The right teacher can make a huge difference according to John Hattie. If the teacher is not right for the group or does not bring enough to the table, the results can be disastrous and outlast that year.


I looked at a recent portrait. That cold look in my eyes is gone. There are wrinkles at the corners of my eyes and lines at the sides of my mouth – those are from laughing with my students while we explored things together. The look in my eyes is one of confidence and joy. I know that life is good and that I can meet any challenges that come my way. Each day brings joy and some hurdles. I get over the hurdles and enjoy the rest of the day. I don't have to struggle or fight. I take a moment to pause and consider my options. I use the space between stimulus and response to my advantage and stand in my power. I consider what would be the win:win option, what would be best for all and if not all, than the best possible solution. Then I act.


This is the first year that I have not taught and I am okay with that. I know what I owe to having taught and I also know that I have moved on to another challenge – leveled up, as my students would say. And that is good, we all need to continue learning. Yet I am the first to acknowledge my debt to the field of education. I did what I loved doing and got paid for it! Not everyone can say that. I have been incredibly fortunate.

.If you can manage to pull back from the deafening media roar, the climate change furor sounds a little like the story of Chicken Little - "the animals are disappearing, the animals are disappearing..."  I am certainly not a hater of animals and I value the great diversity of life on the planet, so of course it is hard not to get caught up in the tempest the media is creating, after all with some 97% of scientists apparently agreeing that there is a change happening, it all sounds compelling, doesn't it?
I have become a bit more wise with age though and I watch people's actions.  If this is a crisis, why are the governments not changing their "business as usual"  or more properly, why are the corporations not changing their "business as usual"?  Trucks are driving rather than trains, oil is still being pumped and sold and fracking continues unabated.  All of these things are supposedly contributing and far more than your vehicle or mine (even in combination).  They are changing nothing. 
We of course, are being asked to pay a tax to help correct climate change.  I certainly do not mind contributing.  But, what may I ask, are we contributing to?  Is there an actual plan?  Other than getting more money from us, I mean.  What is the government going to do with all the tax money they are going to get, that is going to help avert a disaster for the people?  After all they currently get 40% of the price of a litre of gas before the carbon tax.  Clearly none of that has been put to any use against climate change or to stop the disappearance of the diversity of the planet.
Don't forget that these are the same people who made the irresponsible decisions to bring plastic on the market, knowing that there was no good solution, that it was not really recyclable and that was in the 1960's, almost 60 years ago.  While some feeble attempt to recycle plastic is being made in the West, they have known for a long time that none is being made inveloping countries.  They simple dump their trash into the nearest waterway.  After 60 years, we now have a disaster in the seas, which is threatening sea life of all sorts.  What can we do?
We are addicted to plastic and it is killing us.
We need an intervention and it is something that we need to do individually and collectively. 
Start small but start:
1.  Not using plastic straws is easy - do that first.  there are glass, metal, paper alternatives.  Make that change first and feel good about it.
2.  Next is preserving food.  There are now alternatives to plastic sandwich bags.  You can even make your own by infusing cotton or muslin fabric with beeswax.  This can be done and they can be used for quite a while.
3.  Choose alternative containers or containers with less plastic.
We can quite simply stop buying plastic.  And make no mistake, you have power.  The next time you are in the supermarket, call for the manager of whatever department you are in and ask where the alternative to the plastic packaging is.  You don't have to be aggressive or rude, just make a point.  You bet that that person, if they are worth their salt will ask their higher-ups for a solution. 
When that alternative comes in - buy it.  And tell your friend.  And get them to buy it.  If the plastic does not sell, it will be gone. 
We used to have alternatives and we can again.
The human race can be free of the plastic scourge.  And if the plastic goes, we save lots of animals.  And the oil industry has less sway.
Stay tuned for part two of The Tempest - Save the Animals - coming soon.

I have to admit, I do admire France's style.  They harnessed the revolution.  By making July 14th into their national holiday they are themselves one with the forces that once opposed them, stating how "avant-garde" they are and thus innoculating themselves against any further revolutionary actions.  It was a brilliant move.  They adopted all the ideals of the revolution officially even making "La Marseillaise" (Check out the bloodthirsty lyrics here - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=laWIjgWDesE ) the national anthem. 

The French Revolution, which set all the monarchies in Europe quaking with fear, was the natural consequence of the despotic absolute rulership by the French Monarchy, who were largely starving their own people to fund the war effort and allowing them only rotten food, if they could get any food at all.  The complete lock down of the classes was too frustrating for the upwardly mobile merchant and scholarly classes - 1 % living on the backs of the other 99% - so they riled up the masses and stormed the Bastille prison.  They were hoping to find weapons with which to fight and were disappointed. Nevertheless, they took the prison apart and eventually succeeded in their complete dismantling of the monarchy.  The name of the prison stayed and became the name of the national holiday, although only a plaque now marks its existence. 

That the monarchy was re-established for a time, is a sign of the lack of ability of the populace to envision something better but the revolution left its mark in many ways.  One great thinker has remarked that the French Revolution is not yet over.  I would agree.

Nor would I expect it to end.  A revolution by definition can only follow a circular (or elliptical) track, it will always return to point "go".  A revolution will never lead to freedom, only to a cathartic discharge of anger and resentment, which in time will build up again.  It was a good "wake up" call for the Monarchy, to let them know that they could not forever operate with impunity.  Since then they have become more shrewd.  Yet I would still assert that we do not need another revolution.

What we do need however is change. In fact, we need a sweeping systemic change.  But it must be change with a better vision of what can be, not simply change in anger, change for change's sake, as too often occurs.  We need a better version of the future than our media seems to be able to come up with. 

Too many of us are suffering from the ills of our civilization:  the rents are too high, the pay too low and the quality of life for many too insufficient. We have forgotten what is important.  Meaningful work, love and kindness, time spent with family and friends, time in nature and pursuing our own interests, all takes a backseat to earning a living.  We are slaves who maintain our illusion of freedom, while actually experiencing very little freedom.  And we wonder when we fall ill, often terminally so.  We have created (or allowed to be created) a system which does us no favours and now many are at a loss as to how to extricate themselves or feel powerless to do so. 

Yet freedom beckons.  It is part of the human spirit to yearn to be free.  There are some, increasingly, stepping up to the plate one way or another.  New sustainable buildings, off-grid technology or new ways of growing our food are being invented daily.  Technology is in place, or shortly coming into place , with 3D printers to allow food and other items to be replicated.  If we can replicate food, we eliminate hunger.  If we can ever learn to work together rather than work in competition, we could eliminate the need to work so hard.  Life could become much more pleasant and less stressful  A revolution will not do that but an inner evolution will - coupled with our evolving technology.  As Margaret Mead said, " A small group of like-minded individuals could change the world.  Indeed it is the only thing that ever has."

So happy "Jour de la Bastille" to France!  Let's look to our future - may it be bright and peaceful!
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April 16, 2019  I am, I suppose, commenting on my own blog post.  Today in the news, the roof and therefore at least some of the contents (if not all) of Notre Dame Cathedral in Paris have burned  I have had the good fortune of seeing it in person twice and although I believe it to be (or have been) a beautiful piece of architecture, it has long outlived its true usefulness.  As sad as losing a part of history may be, it is history and not useful in the present, at least not in the same way and to the same magnitude. 
Whether it is a result of the "Gilets jaunes" (Yellow vests) protests or not remains to be seen.  They may be blamed for it regardless.  It may be an attempt to turn public sentiment against them.  If so, I doubt it will work.
The French Revolution slogan "Liberte, Fraternite, Egalite!" (Liberty, Brotherhood, Equality!) has never been realized after all.  There are still the upper classes, who feel entitled to make all the decisions ( without input), set taxes and otherwise exploit those at the bottom of the economic chain.  The Gilets jaunes protest is not just about carbon tax - it is about the fundamental injustices of our system and a need to allow for true equality and actual justice - neither of which we have. 
If you doubt this, try, just try to change anything.  What avenue will you take?  A petition?  They have not been read in the House of Commons since the '80's.  A lawsuit?  Even a class action suit is expensive and an incredibly lengthy process.  Approaching your Member of Parliament?  If it is an election year and you have a topic that will win votes - you may be in luck.  Otherwise, good luck with that! 
Understand why they have taken to the streets?  They, like many others in France and elsewhere are tired.  Tired of having money taken off our pay, which is never accounted for.  Tired of the ever increasing taxes, which are not accounted for or truly used for the public.  Taxes which instead fund, among other things porn movies.  (Yes, courtesy of the Canadian government - "Your tax dollars at work") Tired of having no say in how taxes are spent or on what.  Tired of not being able to get cures (not symptom relief) but actual cures for disease.  Tired of hearing of how life is getting worse.  Tired of being manipulated by people who clearly can not see their way forward and yet claim to be leaders. 
France does not take that lying down.  And good for them!  If the Cathedral of Notre Dame, a national monument, built on the backs of the French people and a tourist attraction (which they get no money for) was burned down in the pursuit of more justice and equality - perhaps it is a small price to pay.

I would call myself a "sustainable living " proponent.  Like many of us, I am searching for a way back from the precipice overhanging ecological disaster that we are standing on.  I don't wnat to keep destroying the planet but as we all acknowledge, ingrained habits are difficult to change, especially when the current reality is pushing against change.
Words have power.  Any great orator knows that words and the way they are used is important because words have power - they can limit or they can set free.  The right word can determine the success of an outcome.  Don't believe it?  I give you the word "revolution".  Revolution is used for unsuccessful attempts to gain power.  Why?  The word itself was originally used to describe the course of planets in their orbits - no big change there, just a continuance after a perceived departure.  If the revolution were to succeed it would be referred to as a change of power.  Words make a difference.
|So what about the word "sustainable"? Lately I have been wondering if, by using this term we are not striving for the wrong thing.  Do we really only want to sustain what is? Or is the point to give ourselves a better future, to move humanity ahead? The modern term, from the 1980's supposedly, is "sustainable" living.  Researching the etymology of "sustainable" reveals that it actually comes from the 1610s and means "bearable," from sustain + -able. Attested from 1845 in the sense "defensible;" from 1965 with the meaning "capable of being continued at a certain level." (1) Not very hopeful, is it?
I certainly do not want to keep the current order of things nor do I want to throw the baby out with the bathwater and abandon all progress humanity has made to go back to basics.  There must be a more middle ground.  But what would we call that?
The word "thrive" comes to mind and it is in use among some groups.  Ever the literate soul, I checked the etymology of the word and it comes from Old Norse, meaning "to grasp to oneself".  Somehow that does not express what I wish for a future society.
We need a word that means that we get beyond our constraints, that we find a better way. We need a word that means a breakthrough, a breaking free and setting a new course of action, a better one.
Where do we find such a word? The word "evolve" is such a word yet it bears a context of eugenics.  It means to "unfold, open up, expand".  Perhaps a word such as the old Latin abundantia, meaning fullness, plenty, which gave us our word "abundance" after a short trip through Old French, would suit?  I am searcing for an abundant life not a sustainable one, after all.  Aren't you?

 Why be a parent?
Parenting can be looked at in two basic ways:

• as an occupation, something unavoidable but unpleasant OR
• a service to humanity. 

What is the difference?

• Parenting as an occupation is one you would avoid at all costs. 

Why?
Apart from the resentment of the loss of your personal freedom, there are several reasons for which any person looking at parenting solely as an occupation would refuse to embark on it.

Here are the three main ones:
1.  It pays nothing, in fact it costs you money (and lots of it). 
2.  It is a 24 hour/day, 7 day/week employment, which lasts for 20 years or more. 
3.  It is often thankless and difficult. 
To be fair, many of those who, consciously or unconsciously regard parenting as an occupation, were surprised by the event and look on it as an unwanted one.

Generally those that have anticipated/planned the event feel differently.  If one looks on parenting as a service to humanity it is bar none. 

Why?
1. You reap enormous rewards and if you do it right, so do others. 
2. You learn about yourself - children will always show you your weak spots.  Yet paradoxically it will also show you your strengths.  You will expand your horizons and yet delve deep inside yourself, if you are doing it right. 
3. Children are a gift, they bring us unexpected presents and challenges.  If you are up for the challenge it will make all the difference in your life. And they are there for you, later in life.

If you are going to be of service to yourself, your child and humanity at large in raising a child, you need to learn (not assume you know) how to be a good parent.  While there are many methods - Barbara Coloroso, Positive Discipline and others - out there that may help, the key to being a good parent is that you are willing to grow and learn and that you already know a bit about who you are.  Let's look at the opposite first, since it is easier to see.

How to be a bad parent
Since this is the simpler route and requires less effort and thought, let's examine this first.  If you want to raise a self-centred child, who has a stunted character and who is unlikely to be able to adapt to life's challenges or contribute to humanity, this is what you should do:

1.  Don't grow up yourself.  Continue to live as though you had no child - put your needs/wants first.  Show no emotional or character growth at all.
2.  Be emotionally unavailable:  When you have to spend time with your child, make sure you are always distracted (cell phone, tablet, work, friends) neve give your child any undivided attention.  .
3.  Make no personal investment in your child.  Follow the crowd and enroll them in various sports (which may or may not have any interest for the child) and other activities so that they are away from you , except when you are ferrying them here and there of course.
4.  Make it a point not to eat meals together.  Meals are a bonding time and they also help socialize your child. 
5.  Do not allow your child to help with any chores. 
6.  Expect nothing from them. but encourage them in acquisition of things.
7.  Defend their weaknesses to others but criticize them when you are alone with them.
8.  Allow them to disrespect you
9.  Let them see your faults and defend those faults to your children.  Do nothing to better yourself.
10. Give them unlimited and unsupervised screen time.

After reading the above, how to be a good parent may seem obvious.  What I am going to detail below is how to be a parent, whose child will be of service to humanity.  That is slightly different.

1.  Do your own inner work
2.  Spend time doing what you love and let your child see it
3.  Spend quality time with your child - (cultural transfer) do things together, teach them skills and also to have fun.
4.  Expect your child to do their best
5.  Teach your child - character, life
6.  Allow your child to make mistakes and fail
7.  Encourage learning and growth.
8.  Help them to get along with others and know themselves
9.  Spend time in nature with them.
10.  Teach them to respect people and themselves.

Being a good parent brings hard work at the beginning but dividends for your investment.  All of us are better off for you having made that investment.
Being a bad parent is easier at first but gets progressively more difficult and leaves your child ill equipped to be successful and leaves the rest of us with a problem.
Ultimately the choice is yours - be wise about making it - for all our sakes.