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What it means to meet with resistance

6/10/2013

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It is almost as unavoidable as death - if you begin something new you will almost certainly meet with some resistance.  Why is this?  There are many levels of answers possible.  On the first most basic and physical level, one of Newton's laws applies - a body in motion tends to stay in motion; a body at rest tends to stay at rest.  Inertia is the general (not the optimal) state that some human beings have adopted.  Getting them to move forward is a delicate, demanding, and often frustratingly slow-moving operation.  
Once, while still living in southern Ontario, I was driving down a dirt road when I saw what looked for all the world like a piece of concrete in the middle of the road.  Thinking that I would move it, since no one else was on the road, I stopped my car and went up to investigate the "concrete".  It was a snapping turtle, a very large and not very friendly one.  It was making its way from one side of the road to the other and I was in a hurry.  There was not enough room to go around it and it pulled its head in and refused to move on, when I approached it.  I thought to push it along with my foot (gently of course) but it swung its head right around and would likely have removed part of my foot if I hadn't had quick reflexes.  The turtle then sat there eyeing me as I eyed him.  Intermittently checking the time, I waited for several minutes.  I thought finally to get a stick with some leaves on it.  Holding it out in front of him, he bit at it and held on, allowing me the opportunity of pulling him far enough out of the way that I could drive past and continue to my appointment.  Mission accomplished!
Just like the turtle crossing the road, many people are resistant to new ideas, methods, or just life's upgrades in general.  They resist technology, changes in economics, changes in their workplace; change becomes the pariah for them and must be opposed at all costs.  They can get downright nasty and even attack the person who is trying to nudge them forward.  They will pull their proverbial heads into their shells (or some other part of their anatomy) in order not to move on.  Coaxing them with some sort of incentive seems to be the only cure for this inertia.  
But meeting with this sort of resistance, does not mean you are on the wrong track.  It simply means that persistence and incentives are needed in order to get people to come along and buy into your vision.  A few allies are good to have, if they can be garnered, then you can delegate them to "hold out the stick with the leaves on it".  
Resistance is like friction - without it we couldn't walk.  We need it at some level.
At another level of understanding.  The people who are resistant could be seen as the projection of the shadow ( as Jung identified it, in this instance, it is that part of ourselves, which is resistant to the change and which we refuse to own).  These people are doing us a favour, believe it or not, regardless of how little it feels that way at the time.  They are allowing us extra time to process, reflect, and ruminate about the various elements of the change that we are wanting to implement.  They allow us to integrate those parts of ourselves that are also resistant, especially if they are unacknowledged.  It allows us to experience the duality that is part o our existence.  We can blame or be angry at the other, yet at some level we are all one.  Better to accept that we are all (no matter how much we may resist this truth) both wanting and reluctant to have, change.  Once we can accept our own duality, we can better work with others and understand their resistance.  Then it will be easier, or at least less stressful for us, to accomplish our goals.

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Leadership classes?

6/4/2013

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What is leadership?  Can leaders be made? Or are there inborn qualities which make someone a leader?  
Interesting questions and difficult ones to get any consensus on.  Certainly those who offer leadership classes (for profit, of course) would argue that the qualities that leaders possess, the body language and other acoutrements. can be acquired and practiced.   It is easy enough to identify qualities that leaders possess - influence and the ability to persuade are two of the outward identifiable qualities of leaders.  

But good leaders (of which we see few these days) - also have internal qualities - integrity, compassion, vision, determination - can these qualities be taught?  Caesar Milan, the Dog Whisperer, has seen that "alphas" and "betas" are not interchangeable.  Alphas are accepted as leaders.  Betas are not.  He states this not only in reference to dogs but also to their masters.
I believe from my own observations, that Milan is right. There are alphas and betas and they are not interchangeable.  Betas can attain a position of leadership.  Sometimes through promotion along a chain of command, through their own industriousness, or through social connections, betas, given the right circumstances and a lack of alphas, can arrive in a position of leadership.  Yet they will not hold it well.  They will seek to please, to make alliances often with those who are non-threatening, and they will stick to the "tried and true" methods. Lacking vision and an understanding of the bigger picture, they will micromanage but they will not lead.  They take no risks.  They are not innovators, they have no vision beyond surviving the day.  They may hold a position of leadership but they are never truly leaders.
A leader is not afraid of risks, yet a good leader will always consider the greater good of those around him/her.  Leaders are driven by their vision, their passion for what they do is paramount, not the renumeration for the work they are doing.  They will have influence without a word being spoken.  They are sometimes hated, sometimes beloved, but always known by their quality.  Leaders have a certain charisma.  They have vision and determination.  They move the world forward.  They know where they are headed and inevitably someone ( a beta, no doubt) will follow
them.  Once one does, there will be another, then several, and soon there is a large and growing following around the leader.  
In school, it is the betas, who are often the quiet and compliant children.  The alphas are the ones who have unbounded energy and curiosity, who won't always do what the teacher asks, and who set the tone for the class.  If a young alpha has an alpha teacher, all will be well.  But if a young alpha has a beta teacher, things often do not turn out well for the beta.  The alpha is a much maligned commodity in our present conformist culture, yet without our leaders, our trendsetters, our people of vision, we would cease moving forward.  Humans, like sharks, need to keep moving forward.
I once had an eye-opening experience.  A well-meaning friend talked me into attending an "Assertiveness Training Course".  The friend, (or perhaps acquaintance would be more apt) had mistaken my love of solitude for a lack of assertiveness.  I was curious as to know how one would become assertive, so I went. 
There was a set of desks in the classroom where the session took place.  Not two minutes into the first session, the instructor asked everyone in the back row to "move closer to the front" as not many people were in the front row.  Many did.  I did not.  I was the only one left sitting in the back row.  The instructor asked me if I would not like to move up to the front.  I looked up and around and said "No!".  That was apparently not the answer he wanted, so he walked over to me and said, "I'd like you to move up to the front of the room."  I repeated my answer "No!".  "I don't think you understand..." The man began.  At that point, I grabbed my backpack and stood up.  "Yes, actually I do."  Thinking I was following his directions, the man backed up.  I stepped around him and headed for the door.  "Where are you going?"  The man asked nervously.  "I understand that I don't need this class.  But all the people who moved up sure do."  With that I left.  Leadership can not be taught.  If leaders follow orders - are they really leaders?  Is that a paradox?

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    Clue #2  Jadzia Cypress spent time in a foreign country

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