A 21st Century Fairy Tale
Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl to marry him. The girl said “No!”.
At first the girl wasn’t sure she had made the right decision. There was a lot of social pressure to be part of a couple. Sometimes she was lonely. But when she looked around at all her friends struggling to manage to keep their unhappy relationships together, she started to feel better about her decision. She didn’t have to worry about compromising her life for someone else. She was still feeling lonely sometimes but she could eat salad and quiche whenever she wanted and no one would be there to insist on steak. She never had to watch sports on TV. She could go to the ballet or the theatre whenever she wanted without any complaining. She only dressed up when she felt like it and she learned to be her own person. She found more things that she really enjoyed doing. She even found her passion in life and once she did, she suddenly was not lonely at all.
Oddly enough that was when she realized that she had absolutely done the right thing in not marrying the first guy who came along. Since she liked herself and had goals in life, she knew she was not going to settle for just any guy. He would have to be his own person. He would have to have a similar goal in life and he would have to be happy. Otherwise, being alone was okay.
Either way, she knew that living happily ever after was a choice and not just the last line in a silly fairy tale.
The end. Or maybe the beginning?
Corollary:
Thought I should say that I wrote this in response to a "male" version of the same story. The guy of course enjoyed the freedom to go "hunting and fishing and drink beer" all very important things I guess to some. No judgement. We're all on a continuum of learning after all and everyone is important.
It also was an hommage to The Paper Bag Princess by Robert Munsch. Besides being a fellow Torontonian-made-good, Robert Munsch was a librarian who actually wrote and published books - beat that Batman! I have RESPECT for this human being and the book is one of my all time favs! Kudos! By the way, I think my story is not at all in that league so no comparisons please; it was just for fun.
It points up something that I think is a key question we keep forgetting to ask in our society - why is there this "Marriage" thing anyways? Why are people being pressured to say "I do" for life when they are too young to really "get" what life is all about? It's daft really. Not that you might not want a partner to walk through part or all of your life with you, but the expectations are a tad unrealistic in our modern world. Or maybe it is the modern world and its expectations of us that are a tad unrealistic or extremely unrealistic and are making it hard for people to truly connect and stay connected on a deep level. In any event the matter bears some investigation before you make a committment. Who really benefits if we get married? What is the ceremony and the legality all about and where did it come from? What does it mean financially? Why is it important for the government to say that if you are living together for such and such a period of time you are common-law married? And how can they actually make that stick? These are all useful and important questions to investigate and answer before you tie the knot. The knot? Wait isn't that like the same thing that they use in a noose? Creepy association isn't it?
It occurs to me also that all religions advise solitude for spiritual development. Marriage would then be the antithesis to spiritual development. Hmm...so the pressure from the society to get married would be to stop people from developing themselves? Makes you wonder, doesn't it?
Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl to marry him. The girl said “No!”.
At first the girl wasn’t sure she had made the right decision. There was a lot of social pressure to be part of a couple. Sometimes she was lonely. But when she looked around at all her friends struggling to manage to keep their unhappy relationships together, she started to feel better about her decision. She didn’t have to worry about compromising her life for someone else. She was still feeling lonely sometimes but she could eat salad and quiche whenever she wanted and no one would be there to insist on steak. She never had to watch sports on TV. She could go to the ballet or the theatre whenever she wanted without any complaining. She only dressed up when she felt like it and she learned to be her own person. She found more things that she really enjoyed doing. She even found her passion in life and once she did, she suddenly was not lonely at all.
Oddly enough that was when she realized that she had absolutely done the right thing in not marrying the first guy who came along. Since she liked herself and had goals in life, she knew she was not going to settle for just any guy. He would have to be his own person. He would have to have a similar goal in life and he would have to be happy. Otherwise, being alone was okay.
Either way, she knew that living happily ever after was a choice and not just the last line in a silly fairy tale.
The end. Or maybe the beginning?
Corollary:
Thought I should say that I wrote this in response to a "male" version of the same story. The guy of course enjoyed the freedom to go "hunting and fishing and drink beer" all very important things I guess to some. No judgement. We're all on a continuum of learning after all and everyone is important.
It also was an hommage to The Paper Bag Princess by Robert Munsch. Besides being a fellow Torontonian-made-good, Robert Munsch was a librarian who actually wrote and published books - beat that Batman! I have RESPECT for this human being and the book is one of my all time favs! Kudos! By the way, I think my story is not at all in that league so no comparisons please; it was just for fun.
It points up something that I think is a key question we keep forgetting to ask in our society - why is there this "Marriage" thing anyways? Why are people being pressured to say "I do" for life when they are too young to really "get" what life is all about? It's daft really. Not that you might not want a partner to walk through part or all of your life with you, but the expectations are a tad unrealistic in our modern world. Or maybe it is the modern world and its expectations of us that are a tad unrealistic or extremely unrealistic and are making it hard for people to truly connect and stay connected on a deep level. In any event the matter bears some investigation before you make a committment. Who really benefits if we get married? What is the ceremony and the legality all about and where did it come from? What does it mean financially? Why is it important for the government to say that if you are living together for such and such a period of time you are common-law married? And how can they actually make that stick? These are all useful and important questions to investigate and answer before you tie the knot. The knot? Wait isn't that like the same thing that they use in a noose? Creepy association isn't it?
It occurs to me also that all religions advise solitude for spiritual development. Marriage would then be the antithesis to spiritual development. Hmm...so the pressure from the society to get married would be to stop people from developing themselves? Makes you wonder, doesn't it?
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