Every once in a while something makes you question everything.  Something that makes you think there has been a complete change in the order of things.  I am left wondering what is going on in my area?  Maybe I should explain.
It was a beautiful late spring day today and I had just gotten a drink of water inside, after spending a couple of hours in my garden.  A knock at the door was preceded by my dogs barking, announcing the presence of an unknown visitor.
The visitor was a young man with a clipboard, who had come in a new truck, with H20 emblazoned on. He was pleasant and he opened a folder and asked about who lived in the house.  To my surprise, he had a copy of my land title.in his folder.  The land title is not something that should be able to be searched unless permission is given.  Yet he had it.
He was an employee of an Oil and Gas company and told me that they were going to taking care of any alerts and "protecting" certain properties.  He showed me a map and had a brochure.  He asked for some information and said the giving of it was voluntary.  I gave him none and asked him to not come back.
The experience left me upset.  How had someone I had never met and//or a company I do not work for gained access to my land title deed?  Who is this company to be now "protecting" me? And who are they to come and "alert " me to things that they are doing that may be harmful to my health?  Why would they then be allowed by the government to do these things that may be harmful to my health?
The "what is going on?" goes further:  Does the company now own the land on the map?  If so, it could certainly search title and get the deed.  But if that is the case, why am  I paying a mortgage to the bank? 
And where is the government in all of this?  Don't I pay taxes to be protected from exactly this sort of thing?
I am perplexed.  I want to know "what is going on"?

hI had a conversation today.  It was both interesting and disturbing.  It began simply enough, with someone asking about meditation.  It ended with me coming to the personal realization that veganism is fast becoming the religion of the "New Age". I felt compelled to write about my new understandings. 

What is a religion? 
Simply put a religion is a belief system.  In a belief system, hard fact often makes no difference.  A belief system is a deeply personal affair.  The person who holds the belief has made it a part of their identity and therefore can not afford to be shaken by any fact that might jeopardize themselves. They take any attack or denial of their beliefs, indeed any refusal to adopt and share their beliefs as an assault on their very essence. 
A religion is popular to the extent that it gives the person adopting it the absolute position of moral certainty and justifies their behaviour.  To anyone searching for meaning, a religion is a safe harbour and an anchor.  Once adopted it offers a structure around which to build one's way of life, complete with safe limits and boundaries - anyone sharing the belief system is a safe person, while anyone who is not part of the religion is unsafe.  The approach to the unsafe person is to first treat them as uniformed, so an attempt at conversion is often made.  If the information does not bring them into alignment, they are then treated as not only unsafe but also undesirable - a person to be pitied for their misguided beliefs or to be shunned, lest one be contaminated by their undesirable beliefs.

Briefly a religion contains these components :
1.  It is adopted at a deeply personal level.
2  It frees the person from having to make their own decisions.
3.  It provides a structure, a way of life.
4.  It provides safety from outsiders.
5.  It gives one a moral high ground - others are to be converted, pitied or shunned.
6.  It allows the person to not listen to any evidence against it.
7.  It creates a division within the society - an us and them.

Why does Veganism present as a religion?
First let me state that I have no personal objection to someone choosing to vegan.  It is a personal decision and as a personal decision is no one else's business, nor should it be.  When it becomes a movement, which disallows other people their right to make other choices or abuses them for doing so, it is no longer simply a personal decision.  Throughout history, much devastation has occurred because of one group attacking another group, simply because of those people holding a different belief system.

Using the components identified above, let us look at veganism:

1.  It is on one level a personal conviction - to eat meat or not, yet it is an emotional and not a well thought out one.
2.  By being a vegan, there are expectations, support and norms set out for one.
3.  There is a structure implicit in the movement, which gives limits to what its adherents can accept and allow themselves to do.
4.  If you see some of the statements toward non-vegans posted on social media, they are aggressive.  Vegans find safety within their own membership, much like religious adherents.  They seem almost comfort in being misunderstood - almost like martyrs.
5.  Vegans see themselves as saving the environment and as the future of humanity - a moral high ground.
6.  Vegans will brook no interruption to the belief in their moral superiority over meat eaters, despite any evidence to the contrary.
7.  The adversarial and combative nature of the Vegan Movement against anyone who eats meat is creating an increasing divide within society.
The following article is well written and points out in detail, some of the issues  www.popsci.com/science/article/2013-08/why-vegan-diets-suck#page-5.

Worrisome Behaviour
If someone can not listen to reasonable argumentation - the fact that type O blood types need to eat red meat, for example  or the fact that it is corporations driving the deforestation of the rain forest and promoting the "over consumption" of meat to their own profit - in my mind, something is wrong.  Making choices about one's nutrition is important these days but making informed and wise choices individually is even more important.  If you are confident in those choices, why would you not be able to allow someone else to make other choices?  That is the salient question that one needs to ask Vegans.  
Veganism is about conformity - it is about using guilt, shame and fear to aggressively enforce that conformity That is something that religion became very adept at doing and was very successful for a long time.  Now those tactics are being tried by the Vegans. 
That is worrisome and bears watching.

Customer service - what does it mean?
We have certain expectations when we enter a store, a restaurant, or a fast food establishment.   Fast, friendly, efficient service is something we may come to take for granted.  Until, or unless, it is missing.  Many corporations advertise about their service.  And it used to be that you could expect to be looked after well, regardless of the establishment you were paying at.
Changes in service
Increasingly, I have been finding that the type of customer service I have been experiencing does not live up to my expectations.  And I find myself wondering if others are experiencing the same. Instead of a line being moved along quickly, or some friendly chatter while with the cashier, watiing times are increased and the chatter is often with a co-worker.
A case in point
I could cite a number of recent examples of poor service but today's is freshest in my mind.  Today, while standing in line waiting to order a bagel and a coffee at a chain, that deals in such fare.  I was next in line to be served, when suddenly both cashiers disappeared from behind the tills.  As I watched, the two cashiers and two other workers flocked over to a non-working employee to chat.  Any thought of the people in line was clearly not present as there was not so much as a backward glance to their waiting customers.  While greeting a fellow employee may not be amiss, leaving customers waiting, while socializing seems a bit much.  After waiting for several minutes, the customer behind me said in exasperation, "Do you think we're invisible?" to which, I replied, "I don't know but I've had enough time to decide that I don't need what I was going to order as much as I thought.  And they obviously don't think my money is important."  With that, I turned and walked out., the employees still happily ignoring their customers and chatting on.
My Solution
So instead of buying a bagel and a coffee at an inflated price, I drove to the nearest store and bought six bagels for the same price as I would have paid.  This was not the first time I have experienced poor service there but it will be the last in awhile.  I will not be returning to that establishment in the near future.  I can certainly pop a bagel in the toaster for a few moments before leaving in the morning and make myself a coffee. It has been easy to go to a fast food establishment but thankfully these disinterested employees have given me a cure for that. I remember bringing food from home along on trips from when I was a child.  I will now be reviving that tradition.  I will be saving money and I will also not be subjecting myself to being poorly treated by people who are employed to give customer service.
Expectations
Are my expectations unreasonable?  Perhaps.  Yet when I deal with the public in my own work, I always am sure to be courteous, efficient, and  take care to meet their needs.  I do not dish out rudeness or poor treatment and I do not expect to receive it. 
Perhaps the very concept of service is outdated.  Yet I do believe that courtesy and a job well done are good for both the doer and the receiver.  Perhaps customers simply need to step up and start voting with their feet and spending their dollars elsewhere, as I did today.  Without customers, or at least with less, management will have to look at what is going wrong and they may address the issue at hand. 
But my expectations for kind, fast and courteous service remain.

What are your thoughts on the subject?  I would be interested to hear.


I'm not sure if this is a regional problem and would welcome feedback about it.

We make plans.  Then there is a storm.  In the aftermath, we find out all sorts of things about ourselves that we either only dimly recognized but did not give our attention to, or did not even expect to see.  The  proof of who we truly are is in how we act (or react) in the wake of these realizations.

Recently my area had a devasttaing hail storm.  I had just begun my vacation time and was looking forward to day trips or more.  The storm began at 5:15.  By 5:45 every piece of plastic outside my house was broken - lawn chairs, mini-greenhouse, planters, totes.  If this were not devastating enough, the softball sized stones had smashed through my barbeque and my new lawn mower.. The impact into the soil went an inch  (2.5 cm.) to two inches deep and my large, beautiful garden, which supplies food for the winter was all but obliterated.  It was hard to take in. 

The worst was my car.  I will admit that I tend to have a special relationship with my vehicle and its demise was a shock.  The back window had been shattered, leaving a gaping hole with glass shards everywhere.  The front window was completely spidered. There were holes in the front molding and it looked like someone had taken a ballpene hammer to the roof and the hood.  Unfortunately, when the back window rear defrost was destroyed, it shorted the electrical.  Without the electrical, my hybrid would not start.

Over 500 vehicles were seriously damaged, in that storm., mine being only one.   I was fully insured, so I made my claim and I waited.  And waited, and waited, and waited.... I waited for eleven days until a representative from the insurance agency showed up and took pictures.  The next day, a very nice man, after looking at the pictures, called me from the lower mainland and offered me 1/2 the red book value less my $500 deductible for my car.  I did not want the money.  I wanted my car back, so I made inquiries about what the damage to my vehicle might mean in terms of money to repair it.  The prognosis was neither sure nor within my budget.  So I took the money and allowed my vehicle to be towed away - gone before her time.

I was choked over the loss of my vehicle, as I would be over the loss of a good friend - one who had been there every morning to go to work with me, wait all day and then take me home, one who had take me across Canada to visit family and friends and then come back with me, and one who had listened to me air my troubles or sing to my favourite playlist.  My faithful Honda Insight is mine no longer.  Strange how difficult it was to part with her! 

I had almost three weeks to contemplate the things I learned from the hail storm.  Here are three:
1.  Plastic is fragile
2.  I do not relax enough.
3.  My car is an essential element in my life.

Plastic is fragile
Between $500 and $1000 dollars worth of plastic (replacement cost) littered my property after the storm.  It was a waste even considering that it can be recycled.  I will no longer invest that heavily in plastic. 
When I buy plastic I am voting with my money to support non-renewable resources.  It is an obvious thing but I did not see the obvious since it was cheaper and more expedient to buy it.   The storm pointed out rather clearly what should have been obvious.  As a result my love affair with plastic is over.  I am not saying I will never again buy any plastic.  But I am saying that I will invest more heavily in wood and metal whenever possible.  I have already begun.

I do not relax enough
Not having a car for three weeks afforded me the opportunity to not distract myself by running errands or going out to meet friends.  I had things to do at home of course but it also gave me much needed "down time".  And I did use it to relax.  It was a revelation that I could take time to relax and not lose my determination to get up the next day and do things, if I chose to.  I had feared perhaps that relaxing would make me not accomplish my goals.  I was wrong.  The storm helped me realize it.

My car is an essential element in my life
A sagittarius without a means of being mobile is a sad thing.  We are mercurial by nature and although I did take walks with my dogs, it became quickly obvious that driving is as natural to me as breathing and completely as essential.  Watching my car being pulled up on the tow truck was an emotional experience and not a happy one.  Did I have friends and associates who gave me rides - yes and I am most grateful for their kindness.  But my driveway was lost without a vehicle to grace it, as was I.  My new (ish) vehicle will be soon in my driveway and I am looking forward to getting behind the wheel again.

All in all the storm was a positive influence but only after the fact.  It very firmly let me know that "...the best laid plans..." can ve interrupted any time and what you do and think about it, will determine how well you come through it.

I was fortunate.  Even though I did not receive what I would consider fair value for my car, I was in a good enough position to be able to pay out my loan and get another vehicle.  Some people were not that fortunate.  I feel grateful that I came through the storm with new insights (even if I lost my Honda Insigh) and can go forward into new adventures.

Never be afraid of the storm - it truly always does have a silver lining.

I am apolitical.  I try to avoid politics like it was the plague. 
This year in the USA it is a plague.
Even those who still believe in the system have to be shaking their heads.  As someone who long ago ceased to believe that there were any candidates for top office in government who were going to be even vaguely interested in carrying out the "will of the people", I have long awaited this disillusionment.  How ridiculous does it have to get before people realize that the candidates are put forward as actors in a play - to give the public the feeling that they have some control in what is going on.  It is a game.  But as one of the public, you have no opportunity to play in it.  You are a cheerleader in the game at best, a spectator but not a stakeholder and you do not have a voice.  At least not as a single individual.  If you want to have a voice you need two things:  numbers and money.  Pressure groups have a voice.  Corporations have a voice. 
When people ask "Who do you want to win the election?" My answer is that it doesn't matter.  Whichever candidate wins, the agenda of those who contributed to their campaign will be followed,  Or if you are a conspiracy theorist, you might say that those behind the scenes will set the agenda and the elected candidate will carry it out.  In any event, the needs of the few seem to be served, while the needs of the many are simply not important.
So what can we do?

1. Work together - we have numbers but we are divided.  If we were able to unite as a common unit for the good of humanity, we would be able to make useful changes.
   
2. Help each other - others are not the enemy.  Help your neighbours,  Pay it forward for people.  Be kind and build others up.
   
3. Research and find out the truth - don't believe what media is telling you.  Take the opportunity to use the internet and research for yourself.  Look at all the information and decide what your own heart and mind tell you to believe.  Make informed decisions.
   
4. Become more independent of the system - maybe you can't immediately go off grid but you can plant a garden, even if it is in containers.  Work on one thing at a time but make some progress.
   

Complaining about the lack of integrity or even real sanity in the poliical arena is easy to do, almost a sport.  But rather than falling into the "ain't it awful trap", just stay on your own course and put the four items above into motion.
I always figure if I don't have control about something, I am not going to bother worrying about it, nor will I let it distract me from what I believe to be my path. 
Trump?  Clinton?   When someone asks you which one?  Don't even dignify the question.  Humm the tune from the wicked witch from the Wizard of Oz or some other inane music, smile, and nod.
Yup!  Or as they say in my native Ontario.  "Have a day!"

What should we be mirroring to our children as parents, or teachers, or even grandparents?  What are the qualities they need to develop to help them succeed in the future?  Opinions differ but in this book I present a consensus of the attitudes and aptitudes needed for children to thrive in the 21st century.  
Gregg Braden researched the Ancient Essenes and explained their teaching that relationships are like mirrors.  In fact there are seven mirrors that he identifies in his work (Youtube video here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0TkD1rl0nFg ).  That resonated with me and it was in part the inspiration for this work.
What is in the book:

• An illustrated children's section in poetry which talks about realizing the child's potential.
• A Parent /Helper section with thought provoking prose and activities and games to help your child develop.
• Games to develop your child's mind and memory, language acquisition and reading, number sense, the heart, energy and balance, and fine and gross motor skills.
• Qualities covered:  Compassion, co-operation, curiosity, creativity, centeredness, connection, acceptance, responsibility, thinking and trust
• Finally there are 6 additional tips on Ito think about and implement to help your child.
• There is an appendix with links, word lists and other helpful items as well as a reproducible template to personalize your child's story.

It is a book that has been two years in the making and I am thrilled with it.  It is in editing now.  So look for it soon !

Stress is a very real part of life for most of us.  With all the different facets of life we need to integrate, it seems much easier to get to a place of peace and joy it does to maintain it.  But maybe for some of us even getting to a level of zen is getting harder.   If we can manage it on a weekend, how do we maintain it through our work week, between home duties and work duties, bill paying and shopping, and all the other "musts"?
Getting through the day alive
Do you start your morning refreshed from yoga or meditation or even from a good night's sleep and end up like our friend to the left?  Does your zen seem to evaporate between 9 and 5?  Even tried and true stress relieving methods not helping much?  
I can relate.
I feel your pain.  It seems that time has speeded up, filled out and fallen over on top of us sometimes.  How do we manage?  Of course there are lots of unhealthy choices we can make but what about something more long term and sustainable?

I like to pride myself on being able to zen with the best of them. (Although I do admit that with three planets in Sagittarius, I can be high strung.) So when the poster on the left showed up taped to a wall in my office, I surmised that I must 
have been showing more stress than I thought.  Feedback is a good thing, since we don't always have a clear picture of where we are at, especially when we get overly busy.  
So how to get from figure 1 to figure 3?  Great question!  Although our society would like to see us all as a homoglobuous mass, the truth is that we are all individuals.  Thus every person's way will be different.  And the farther you are from being inner directed, the more difficult zen will be to get to.

Mayday USA and Lawrence Lessing

Lawrence Lessig is out there living his passion and communicating his truth.  In that, he is commendable.  He makes a compelling argument for everyone to give up their defeatist attitudes - "What can I do about it?" and stand up and help solve the issues that our collective apathy have brought about.  He has started the movement Mayday US and you can check out his website if you are interested. 

As i said in "A Movement of Ones", we can all do something. I have up to this point no argument with his statements, nor can I (or would I) refute his claim that it is the 1% that is driving the U.S. (and I would add most Western democracies') political and governmental decisions while people stand idly by, consoling themselves with "Well, what can I do about it anyway?".  Small consolation that. 
 
I do object to Lawrence's scope and the fact that he is using the weapon of hope.  Weapon of hope?  Yes, I will explain that below.

Hope as a Weapon
Hope - a weapon?  But haven't we all been taught that hope is a good thing? Well it certainly can be.  Anything can be either helpful, hurtful or neutral.  In the instance of fixing a completely corrupt systemic institution - hope is not only not useful.  I believe it is a dangerous, even a weapon which will backfire on the one's wielding it.  Let me explain.
 It would be like wishing that the food in your fridge, that better comes under the title of  "failed science experiment" could be salvaged as viable nutrition.  Rather than just wishing, suppose you began to hope and then moved into actually working towards salvaging it and making it edible once moreI Even if it were possible, would it be the best we could do?  Is this somewhere hope should be employed?  I think not.  
It would be regrettable that we had forgotten about the food and not managed it better.  But having discovered that it is wholly  corrupted and no longer good to use, the best thing would be to throw it out and get something new in there.  Hope in this instance would be ridiculous.
Yet let us suppose that one of us (or more) feels an attachment to this particular  piece of ex-food and wants to salvage it at all costs.  We might try to clean it up, rehabilitate it, perhaps try to deodorize, remove the mold and the bacteria growing on it in the hopes that we would find it palatable again.  But would it ever be safe to eat?  No. And that hope would drive you to waste your time and energy investing in something which will never return either to you in any meaningful way.  A blind hope, like a blind love is not helpful and may be harmful.  It is a weapon.  It can leave one feeling depressed, resentful, or destructively angry.  Ultimately wielding hope in a hopless situation will shut down the will to act.  This is using hope as a weapon.
Now some of you will feel this to be unfair as an example but I think you understand better what I mean by the weapon of hope.  I believe that in presenting hope of systemic reform of government to the people and getting them to believe, as he obviously does,
 that it is possible, Mr. Lessing is using that hope as a weapon.  I do not however, believe that it is his intention to do so.

Is systemic reform of governmental institutions possible?

Where I disagree with Mr. Lessing is that systemic reform is possible.  The Romans went down trying to reform a corrupt system, a system which was broken.  Mr. Lessing uses the example of the first Pentium chip and its repair - which came at great cost - to assure us that such reform of the governmental system is possible.  But before you sign up and start marching, ask yourself one question.  Is he right?  Other forms of government have been taken out before, "fixed", and re-instated yet they ended up as corrupt as ever.  The monarchy in France after the Revolution is a case in point.  True, they eventually got themselves free again but is their current government doing the will of the people?  Or is the Emperor simply wearing a different mask?

Is Democracy viable?
"We the people..." is a compelling phrase.  We the people have wanted to believe in democracy since Greece, if not before.  Yet what we have is not a true democracy.  I don't believe that democracy, the representative kind which we have, where we send someone else as a proxy to do what we want and pay them to do it because we can't be bothered, can ever end up as anything but a totalitarian dictatorship.  I believe that what we need is a realization that you can't send someone to do your job.  You need to voice your own opinion.  In the past that hadn't been possible.  Are things different?  Is there something that might make democracy, real democracy, possible?

Democracy and Social Media
 In this age of facebook, skype, instagram, twitter, and other forms of social media,we could have a real, not a representative, democracy.    I think that is at the very least where the mark should be set.  1 voice, 1 vote, period.  The corporations as entities should not be able to sneak in behind our backs (actually they don't even really try to hide what they are doing anymore) and buy the politicians we have elected.  If we were to remove the politicians, or susbstantially downgrade their roles, we would not only slow down corruption , we would save ourselves a lot of money.  We only need a few taskers to do the grunt work of small items - approving infrastructure maintenace and other small things.  For the large ticket items - pipeline or other potentially ecologically hazardous items, major changes in policy, approval of the budget, and so on - we all vote.  It can be done.

Insufficient Scope 
But what Mr. Lessing is suggesting is not enough.  Like all university type thinkers, he has an idea but it is an unconnected idea.  
So let's say that he does accomplish the fact that they have a more honest government.  It is still perpetuating the monster that government has become from the standpoint of all of the inefficiencies in the system  The system itself is what needs reform, not just one tiny part of it.

Another way - the Inclusive Local Circle
Now, personally, I believe that the flaw in democracy is not fixable.  It is a system, which we have explored over generations and frankly it hasn't really held up well.  Like Monarchy, Oligarchy, Communism, Democracy is not a particularly humane system.  I think that we need to go to a locally driven Circle type of government, which would link with other local governments in a network.  You might need a few co-ordinators but you would not in any way need the huge (and expensive) governmental system we currently support with our taxes.  It would be less expensive and more efficient.  

Local Governments and Responsiveness
Local governments can not help but be more responsive to their
citizens concerns because they live in the same communities. They are impacted by any issues the community faces, such as:

• Water
• Energy
• Land use
• Education
• Medical attention
• Quality of Life
• Recycliing
• Food

These can all be dealt with at a local level.  In a study, the U.N. found that if local communities were to take care of the bulk of raising their own food, we would be able to feed everyone. 

Change 
Old habits die hard.  I'm not saying this would be a welcome change.  I'm not saying that people who are privileged under the current corrupt system will not fight to keep what they have.  The more the system is (or you believe it is) serving your needs the less you want change.  But if we choose not to become extinct within the next few hundred years we need to start the process of change now.  

What will it take?
Most people know the problems we face.  They might hide their head in the sand about it but they know.  Lessing claims he has given people hope.  Maybe he is right.  My contention is that hope will not be enough.
There are some qualities that we need to  cultivate in order to forge a new way:

1. Awareness - We need to wake up and look around us and actually see things the way they are, not the way we were told they are.
2. Honesty - It is important to be honest about what we are facing and the fact that we can find a solution.
3. Courage - It is important to confront our fears and forge on toward a solution.
4. Vision - We need a new vision of the future.  Without a new vision, we will continually recreate the same mess.
5.  Ceativity- We need a creative way to solve our issues.
6. Solidarity - We need to put aside our personal differences and stand together to get to a new future.
7. Understanding and Compassion - We will not necessarily "get it right"  right away.  That does not mean we are not on the right track.

What Lessing Missed
What Lessing missed is this - the Pentium chip, he used in his example was new.  It was not an old chip which had become corrupt.  It was a brand new item, which needed tweaking.  That is possible.  What he is suggesting is not.
  
A Vision and A Voice
We have the false idea that only a democracy can give us a voice.  There are other ways to have a voice.  Let's look at that and really start something that will serve humanity - all of us.  And let's do it now.  It doesn't need hope.  It needs clarity and the qualities listed above.  But most of all it needs a way forward.  It needs a vision of a better future, not just the reruns of our past failings and hopes.  That is a vision, which is emerging.  I will leave that for a future installment.
In conclusion,  I wish Mr. Lessing safe travels on his hero's journey.  I don't believe he is wrong necessarily but I maintain that he is walking with his eyes closed in the dark over rough terrain.  That is a dangerous journey.  

Dependent, Codependent, Independent, or Interdependent?  Which one are you?

Babies are beautiful and totally dependent.  As babies, we are all born dependent on others for our welfare.  Our childhood, teen years, and even into our early twenties are a gradual weaning off of this dependency.  Some of us don't make the cut and become codependent.  This is not the "healthy" independence that every parent wants their child to grow up and acheive.  We all take  great pride in our independence, be it individual, national, or other but is that the most desirable state for humanity?  Let's really take a look at this "given", shall we?
 Let's define our terms here before we go further.  From the Oxford Dictionary, let me present you with some definitions, beginning with the root word. -
Dependence 

• contingent on, or determined by someone or something;    
• requiring someone or something for financial, emotional, or other support; 
• unable to do without.

Despite our illusions of independence, given the definition above, most of us are and remain dependent all of our lives.  We are not sufficient unto our selves - producing our own food, energy, and so on. We often don't like to look at that aspect of our society yet it exists.  Most of us achieve the type of independence, which our society does everything in its power to assure we do not achieve because the more dependent we are, the more easily exploited we are.  As children we require our parents to support us in numerous ways and as said above we proceed to become less dependent on them as we age.  It can be argued that the parents are merely exchanged for the marriage (or non-marriage) partner.  To some extent this is true.  But that is another discussion altogether.

It is easy to see where the other definitions branch off from the root. Codependence would come from the last meaning.  Codependence is the uneviable state that sometimes passes for "normal" or even "self-sacrificing".  It is "the state of being excessively reliant, emotionally or psychologically upon someone else, who requires support due to an addiction or illness".  .So instead of determining one's own way and finding one's own passion and purpose, the codependent person allows the partner to become the determining factor in their life.  The addicted partner has given up their independence to the addiction of course.  This is generally agreed to be unhealthy behaviour.

If independence is" the state of being free of outside control, not depending on another's authority". The question one should be asking oneself is, am I independent?  Be honest now...how much does the media influence your choice of what you wear, drive, or how you live? Could you simply go out and quit your job?  What about taxes?  Rules and regulations?  You are independent to some extent .  But you aren't completely.  Although you could be, for a price most of us are unwilling to pay.  We leave that to the Nelson Mandelas and the Ghandis of the world.  Ever wonder what would happen if we did not?  If we really all took our own independence in hand?

So what about interdependence?  I was disappointed with the definition in the Oxford Dictionary.  All it said was,  "...the state of two or more people (or things) being dependent on each other."
Not positive and not negative, mostly not a very good explanation at all, which always peaks my curiosity.  Why just that definition?  If dependence is generally thought of as a "bad" thing and we define interdependence as "being dependent", doesn't that make it "bad" by association?  (I know "bad" is not very accurate - sorry!)  I personally, believe that we have been duped into believing that independence is preferable to interdependence.  That it is a black and white, all or nothing proposition.  I believe that it is a  case of both being necessary in proportion.  Let me explain:

1. You need to develop independence of thought.  You need to be able to really see what is and not what you are conditioned to see, question what is, and arrive at an understanding of your own beliefs, your passion and purpose in life.
2. Then you need to use that insight and your passion and share it with others.  They support you in your passion and you in turn support them.  That is interdependence.

Interdependence is what allows us to work together.  As long as we remain isolated, we can be kept in a state of dependence.  Although that may be a very good thing for those in the society who make their money off the easily-led types, it is not a healthy way for us to continue to live.  
Have you every had the experience of a group working together and managing to accomplish far more than expected in far less time?  This is especially evident if the thing they are working on is something they are all committed to and all passionate about.


Einstein once said "Everyone is a genius.  But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will spend its whole life believing it is stupid."  I would add to that, If all the fish, who have been judged "stupid" by the system get together and share notes, they may find out the truth - that the judgment was wrong.  Interdependence can do that.  That is why we are taught to be independent.  So that each poor fish believes themselves to be incapable, when they are not.  Because they all stay in their independent little bowls, never sharing their story with anyone else, this belief persists.


Independence and interdependence - both are important.  There are many places on the web that are helping people to reach out and find community.  Check these out:
http://www.liveyourlegend.com
http://www.thepassiontest.com
http://www.globalcoherenceinitiative.com
As always love to hear your feedback!
Love and light,
Jadzia

Are we missing a basic right in the Charter of Human Rights?  I think we are after reading a shocking news article yesterday.  It read:  Homeless woman fined for building her own home. 
Really?
Don't we have a right to build our own home?  But when I thought about it, maybe we don't.  That would be a coup for the construction industry and all its related components but most of all it would be a coup for the bankers and investors, who are gaining more and more power in our unbalanced times.  
Reading the article, I began to feel an increasing conviction that, just like raising our own food, we should have the right to build a home that suits us.  As long as we are not endangering others.  This woman was not.  And the fine she received was $10,000!  She was building the small dwelling herself with donated materials.  She was not in the middle of town or anywhere that her (perhaps shoddy) construction skills could impact on anyone else's property values, as I understand it.  So why the fine?
This woman was trying, with the help of others' donations, to better her lot in life and put a roof over her head.  Does\' she not have a right to do that?  I would like to build my own dwelling also and I know that there is a growing trend away from the "box" housing they are building for people en masse, where you get to look at garages, and into your neighbours' houses for a view.  The Tiny House movement is coming on strong in the U.S. and  here  in our area people are building with cob, straw and other natural building materials, that are more people and earth-friendly.  
When our "building" codes and ordonnances meant to promote general safety, instead begin to promote wealth in the pockets of the politicians, and financiers, instead of allowing people to build their lives in a humane fashion, that equals a warning sign in my eyes.
We as a species tend to make a law and keep that law long after its usefulness has expired.  Don't believe that?  Then you might not know that Toronto has a law that you cannot drag a dead horse through the streets (Sorry, if you were planning on doing that!), or that you can wear a sword in public (but not kiss) as long as it is sheathed.   So why not this right?
The Tiny House movement is coming on strong and facing opposition as is the  movement to build with more natural materials.
It may not be your particular interest but that doesn't mean that the right to do it shouldn't be available.  
So here is the missing right - People have the right to design and build, with materials of their choosing, their own dwelling place, without harassment from government or banks. 
That's my say.  Have your's below.